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Johnnysalz

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Johnnysalz

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  • Number of visits : 1128
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Johnnysalz's page activity

Visits<b>artiststatement</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:31am<b>rcgirl2</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:55pm<b>poppadoppalis</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 7:06pm<b>film_addict1129</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 7:24am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 4:33pm<b>sofitina</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>kawaiisakura</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:32pm<b>high_tower87</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:28am<b>Pilotchick</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:46am<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 04/10/2012 at 10:51pm<b>SultanRS</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 11:40am<b>moksha</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 6:12am<b>lmc94</b> - the 03/26/2012 at 8:54pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 03/14/2012 at 8:02pm

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Johnnysalz's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (7310)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (9060)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9431) - you deserved it (50165)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8446) - you deserved it (24665)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (3856)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12942) - you deserved it (23068)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (2992)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8752) - you deserved it (37012)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

#19409453
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8006) - you deserved it (18370)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

#19408949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12197) - you deserved it (17227)

On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

#19407529
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (6411)

On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you deserved it (35555)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (22751)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (5172)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (1741)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)



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