Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2701
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Johnnysalz's page activity

Visits<b>cntrygl83</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:57pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:31am<b>rcgirl2</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:55pm<b>poppadoppalis</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 7:06pm<b>film_addict1129</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 7:24am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 4:33pm<b>sofitina</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 10:39pm<b>kawaiisakura</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:32pm<b>high_tower87</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:28am<b>Pilotchick</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:46am<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 04/10/2012 at 10:51pm<b>SultanRS</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 11:40am<b>lmc94</b> - the 03/26/2012 at 8:54pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 03/14/2012 at 8:02pm

Johnnysalz's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Johnnysalz's badges

Johnnysalz's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

by TJ / 04/06/2012 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

by darkestbarbie / 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

by tessamarque / 04/05/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 8:36am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

by Badchristian / 04/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

by Chris / 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

by KatieB / 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

by potatoebee / 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

by yelyah / 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous