Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jerry350z

Offline (the 09/22/2014 at 7:19pm) | Search for a member

Jerry350z

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 465
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jerry350z's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Jerry350z's badges

Jerry350z's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7194) - you deserved it (29833)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3728)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13316) - you deserved it (28740)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12555) - you deserved it (23990)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (1798)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (1470)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

#20055735
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5447) - you deserved it (28096)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (4613)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (3724)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (27652)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (27652)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11894) - you deserved it (33134)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19317) - you deserved it (46953)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32991) - you deserved it (10259)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23542) - you deserved it (1502)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: