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Jca56

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Jca56

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  • Number of visits : 485
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Jca56's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (2925)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

#18728659
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47925) - you deserved it (3950)

On 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (5024)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (5704)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went jogging with my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure my moobs bounced more than her breasts. FML

#18697207
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15144) - you deserved it (26356)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (5275)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (42006)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

#18425208
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (23206)

On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (2383)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65481) - you deserved it (7377)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43979) - you deserved it (6334)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (5274)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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