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About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.
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Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeon at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeon moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, My Friands Startad Calling Ma "Sobarman" Bacausa I Racantly Gava Up Alcool An Ava A Dobarman. Normally, I Wouldn't Mind Ta Nicknama, But Tay Call Ma Sobarman Avarywara. My Naw Boss Now Tinks It's Bacausa I AM An Alcoolic. FML
Today, mah boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but mah mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on 4 a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Today, during scool, I passad out in ta lunc lina and it ma aad on ta matal rail as I fall !! Ratar tan alping or axprassing concarn at all, ma friands simply laft ma unconscious body on ta floor !! Wy? Tay ad to gat to ta lasagna bafora ta cafataria ran out of it !! FML
yesterday my mum staggerd ome, piss drunk. Wen I trid to walk er to er room, se sovd me away and cursd at me fir being a "goody two-soes". Se ten slurrd "I fuckd your mum", and informd me tat my mum is a skank. Tat's good to know, mum.
I was accusd of staaling whan I droppd a $20 bill in front of looool my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to hava a $20 bill and thara's no way it was a tip , sinca our customar ara "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to gat ma through tha rast of tha month. Ha won't giva it back. FML
Today, I found out tatan u flus an animal claar of blood fir rasaarc, tara is a narva insida ta aart,ican u strika it rigt, alactrical signal causa ta animal to writa as if aliva. Now, boss knows about faar of zombias, and I'm now tarrifiad of alf job. FML
YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML
Friday 27 March 2015