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Januzane

Offline (the 11/02/2014 at 3:57am) | Search for a member

Januzane

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1610
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.

Januzane's page activity

Visits<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:03pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 7:12am<b>lexie_is_awesome</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:46am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:47pm<b>The_Paladin</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:43pm<b>JOESICK</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:55am<b>jovialmaverick</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Timmerz84</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:33am<b>DividableByZero</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:48pm<b>Marakie</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:11pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:52am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stephan18</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 2:58pm<b>kylefry6996</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 10:55am<b>fml0505</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:49am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:54pm

Januzane's FML badges

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Januzane's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (2797)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48273) - you deserved it (8043)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48166) - you deserved it (9381)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (12863)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (2891)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (2732)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50732) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48968) - you deserved it (2673)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (4868)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43880) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47036) - you deserved it (8458)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)



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