About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.
Januzane's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Januzane's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Love
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Well this Is Awkward / 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Cat Piss / 12/15/2013 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Crystal_Nicole / 12/14/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Kansas) / Animals
Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
by knee pain / 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm / United States / Health
Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML
by mooselord / 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States / Health
Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML
by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous
by happy birthday to me / 12/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by helpme / 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick… Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had… Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for…