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Januzane

Offline (the 11/02/2014 at 3:57am) | Search for a member

Januzane

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1738
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.

Januzane's page activity

Visits<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:03pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 7:12am<b>lexie_is_awesome</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:46am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:47pm<b>The_Paladin</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:43pm<b>JOESICK</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:55am<b>jovialmaverick</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Timmerz84</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:33am<b>DividableByZero</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:48pm<b>Marakie</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:11pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:52am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stephan18</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 2:58pm<b>kylefry6996</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 10:55am<b>fml0505</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:49am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:54pm

Januzane's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Januzane's badges

Januzane's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53342) - you deserved it (7933)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (5991)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

#20993307
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43547) - you deserved it (6331)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20991879
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (6342)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by Crystal_Nicole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50352) - you deserved it (4635)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53736) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66457) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

#20981618
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (2500)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm - health - by mooselord (man) - United States

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40289) - you deserved it (5181)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67083) - you deserved it (5575)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43781) - you deserved it (4438)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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