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Jacob19999

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Jacob19999

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 93
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Jacob19999's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79826) - you deserved it (8245)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37323) - you deserved it (5287)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (3986)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84283) - you deserved it (5628)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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