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JacCat

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JacCat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 800
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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JacCat's favorite FMLs

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

#16060289
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by parkingisawesome - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (11793)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42904) - you deserved it (4503)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30616) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (6174)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

#15651361
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (2820)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:13pm - money - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43141) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47893) - you deserved it (40070)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31393) - you deserved it (2878)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46233) - you deserved it (3810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

#14584296
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (4598)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

#14353774
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (3464)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was straightening my hair for my Christmas Eve party. I put the hot straighter down on my bed for a second, and zoned out enough to sit squarely on it a few moments later. I now have burns on my ass cheek, and a six-hour party at which I can't even sit down. FML

#14328743
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7554) - you deserved it (26245)

On 12/24/2010 at 11:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

#14160677
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (2224)

On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (3922)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)



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