About J9ssica : FML tends to have small picture icons so if i look at your profile it means im trying to get a good look at your picture.good day =D
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94026) - you deserved it (3723)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7945) - you deserved it (73629)
On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (51833) - you deserved it (18220)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40883) - you deserved it (6296)
On 05/03/2009 at 4:37am - health - by bananayellowteeth (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62256) - you deserved it (20226)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55274) - you deserved it (6109)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43818) - you deserved it (4132)
On 04/25/2009 at 3:51am - intimacy - by bongoboy - United States (California)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (15556)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8139) - you deserved it (53493)
On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14233) - you deserved it (43296)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32435) - you deserved it (4485)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (13683)
On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by Lo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (86367) - you deserved it (17604)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (58538)
On 04/13/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by LonelyFrog (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58034) - you deserved it (2154)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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