J9ssica

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Offline (the 09/22/2014 at 9:27pm)

J9ssica

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2059
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About J9ssica : FML tends to have small picture icons so if i look at your profile it means im trying to get a good look at your picture.good day =D

J9ssica's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:53am<b>randomdude11181</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 1:57pm<b>tyi217</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 12:06am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 3:56pm<b>hand1234</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 6:10pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 10:15am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 9:34pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 9:53pm<b>Hunterx700</b> - the 05/29/2012 at 1:23am<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 5:35pm<b>bizarre_ftw</b> - the 01/05/2012 at 10:14pm<b>sebastianhs</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 8:29am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:54pm

J9ssica's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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J9ssica's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

by OMGWTF / 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

by thefailure / 08/02/2009 at 12:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

by Higgs / 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML

by insideout / 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I poured myself some punch into a mug I have sitting on a shelf at my studio. Upon tipping it upside down to swallow the last few delicious drops, I see a cluster of mouse droppings stuck to the bottom. FML

Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 9:53am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

by matt5th35hit / 05/09/2009 at 4:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

by Mandy / 05/09/2009 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm / Italy (Toscana) / Health