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Intoxicunt

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Intoxicunt

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  • Number of visits : 15991
  • Number of comments : 2882
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Intoxicunt's page activity

Visits<b>batah</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:36am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:01pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:18am<b>23lf</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 7:48pm<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:08pm<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 4:40am<b>elijahisaboss</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:13am<b>bigblackcot</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:42am<b>ThiefLourde</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:39pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:06am<b>Jak0p</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:20am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:37am<b>Allegretto</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:54pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:46am<b>Valcannos</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:30pm<b>RarityDiamond</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:36am<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:22am

Intoxicunt's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Intoxicunt's badges

Intoxicunt's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42016) - you deserved it (3029)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6769) - you deserved it (46555)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10503) - you deserved it (74188)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15774) - you deserved it (37787)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (19558)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39031) - you deserved it (3999)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

#5221967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38977) - you deserved it (2192)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45395) - you deserved it (4285)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39252) - you deserved it (9418)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47174) - you deserved it (6339)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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