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Intoxicunt

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Intoxicunt

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  • Number of visits : 15853
  • Number of comments : 2882
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Intoxicunt's page activity

Visits<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:04am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:06am<b>dmert5</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:03am<b>bwhaha</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:49pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:55am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:18pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:15pm<b>RockOn_AC</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 11:31am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:58pm<b>wang33334</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:00pm<b>awkwardology</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:14pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 9:47am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:11am<b>ksmith233</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:24am<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:17am<b>Druu</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:02pm<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:38pm

Intoxicunt's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Intoxicunt's badges

Intoxicunt's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41958) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6752) - you deserved it (46483)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10472) - you deserved it (74079)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15307) - you deserved it (37002)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (19537)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38968) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

#5221967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38931) - you deserved it (2189)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45324) - you deserved it (4278)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (9410)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45945) - you deserved it (6200)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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