I'm the poo, take a whiff.
Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you totally deserved it (4463)
On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you totally deserved it (3409)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34853) - you totally deserved it (1347)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you totally deserved it (2335)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I drove by a restaurant I have eaten at the previous day. I write a food review column for my college paper and I have tried everything on the menu at least once that day. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you totally deserved it (1461)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by TampaBayJJ - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to go into my 14-year old daughter's room to get her laundry. The door was open, so I walked right in. She didn't notice me enter; she was too busy taking nude pictures of herself in front of the full-length mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12358) - you totally deserved it (2651)
On 09/14/2009 at 9:53pm - intimacy - by youlose_ (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you totally deserved it (6155)
On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my fiance, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you totally deserved it (3534)
On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you totally deserved it (2527)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you totally deserved it (12168)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you totally deserved it (11987)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46541) - you totally deserved it (1107)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42265) - you totally deserved it (16726)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you totally deserved it (2244)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you F*ing cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63380) - you totally deserved it (37067)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
