I'm the poo, take a whiff.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8124) - you totally deserved it (751)
On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10217) - you totally deserved it (3792)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you totally deserved it (959)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you totally deserved it (2749)
On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26198) - you totally deserved it (4598)
On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18651) - you totally deserved it (3500)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you totally deserved it (1402)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you totally deserved it (2382)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I drove by a restaurant I have eaten at the previous day. I write a food review column for my college paper and I have tried everything on the menu at least once that day. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you totally deserved it (1503)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by TampaBayJJ - United States (Florida)
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
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On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my fiance, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34406) - you totally deserved it (3673)
On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39051) - you totally deserved it (2582)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you totally deserved it (12399)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you totally deserved it (12168)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
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On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
