About ImAFaker : Horror movies, video games, soccer, and football. Chat me up if you want. P.S. This is a comedy website, I don't care if you're feelings are hurt as long as it's funny. I may sound like an asshole but this is called comedy for a reason. I will check out your profile but sorry people, I have no fucks to give.
ImAFaker's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
ImAFaker's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML
by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by livingonmyownfromnowon / 09/13/2016 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML
by CoA / 09/06/2016 at 7:40am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/21/2016 at 5:21am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous
Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML
by Its My BDay I Can Cry If I Want To / 08/10/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML
by so unsexy / 08/04/2016 at 5:32pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater / 07/15/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by You're Not a Wizard / 06/30/2016 at 8:29am / Work
by r1has / 06/29/2016 at 4:01pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/02/2016 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Work
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I completed driving school. After 30 hours of classwork, 6 hours of driving lessons, and a very tough driving test, I passed and can now get a 15% safe driver insurance discount. My friend just told me he only had to watch a 15 minute video to get the same discount. FML
by Whatthehell / 02/20/2016 at 8:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money
- Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes… Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when… Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours…
- Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up… Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a…