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Iellwen

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Iellwen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5020
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Iellwen's last visitors

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Iellwen's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Iellwen's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9090) - you deserved it (25162)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (8326)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (1870)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

#19555770
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (3344)

On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8030) - you deserved it (53122)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (8089)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (2032)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38704) - you deserved it (3515)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (4030)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14692) - you deserved it (25594)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (5580)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States



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