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50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7657) - you deserved it (1093)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2044) - you deserved it (13982)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (5188)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6395) - you deserved it (608)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (2068)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5728) - you deserved it (1080)
On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7359) - you deserved it (493)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4354) - you deserved it (8274)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (1617)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3332) - you deserved it (14313) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2442) - you deserved it (5759)
On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16438) - you deserved it (2332)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17540) - you deserved it (2101)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by kayadd33 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2314) - you deserved it (4762)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (749)
On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)
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