About ILike_Dancing123 : Lol, that was absolutely hilarious!
Bring on the witty comments :D
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Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (1633)
On 09/06/2011 at 1:56am - misc - by Mattador - United States (Georgia)
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35460) - you deserved it (2966)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - intimacy - by BlootheBawss - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it for "tax reasons." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (1974)
On 08/20/2011 at 6:20pm - love - by The_Taxman (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22333) - you deserved it (4272)
On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8777) - you deserved it (31520)
On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (8924)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was going to kiss my girlfriend for the first time. As I leaned in, closed my eyes, and was about to kiss her, she pushed me away and said, "Not with that pimple on your chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (4607)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:08am - love - by pimples - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend and his bandmates were doing a live interview for a web show. Drunk off his ass, my boyfriend starts telling the internet how his ex-girlfriend is his biggest inspiration. I was standing right next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (2590)
On 07/18/2011 at 9:20pm - love - by Btwigster (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (38877)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (5824)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my neighbor passed away, and my father and I went to give his wife our condolences. In the middle of my dad's conversation with the wife, he says "I'm sorry for your loss, I knew Jim well, he was a great guy." The wife stares at him and says, "His name was Rich." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (4740)
On 06/24/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Elliott_B (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided I was done waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, so we were cuddling in his bed and I asked him. He asked for a rain check. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (10146)
On 06/21/2011 at 10:38pm - love - by brokenbabe (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (5519)
On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (2064)
On 05/31/2011 at 12:44pm - money - by Taurus_ChicKa (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (5526)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by wolfie898 - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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