Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Humanspider

Search for a member

Humanspider
  • Town/Country : Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1062
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Humanspider : A Charming Bastard who is honest but lacks tact

Humanspider's last visitors

drewski_14akemieuphoriagorillazCodyallen1993BudderchookAllornoneNewMetalGirlWillski

Humanspider's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Humanspider's badges

Humanspider's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195517) - you deserved it (18854)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49410) - you deserved it (598397)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116402) - you deserved it (11403)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: