About Humanspider
A Charming Bastard who is honest but lacks tact
Humanspider - Followers
Humanspider - Followed
Hugged!
Humanspider's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    25%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    5%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Humanspider's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 11 December 2011 11:54 / Australia

Today, my boyfriend forced me to climb out through his window, because he was too embarrassed at the thought of his room-mate finding out I'd spent the night. FML

By FML / Saturday 10 December 2011 23:56 / United States

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

By davidh5012 - / Sunday 27 November 2011 21:41 / United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 10 December 2011 03:41 / United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 28 November 2011 03:03 / United States