About Humanspider : A Charming Bastard who is honest but lacks tact
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Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (92521) - you deserved it (10802)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (8037)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57639) - you deserved it (4265)
On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18542) - you deserved it (4220)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98195) - you deserved it (23539)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40261) - you deserved it (123772)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56328) - you deserved it (4682)
On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (5264)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73929) - you deserved it (4953)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59023) - you deserved it (159698)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81402) - you deserved it (15222)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33863) - you deserved it (110029)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73826) - you deserved it (4552)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67000) - you deserved it (182625)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (165729) - you deserved it (22258)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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