Humanspider

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Humanspider

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2642
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Humanspider : A Charming Bastard who is honest but lacks tact

Humanspider's page activity

Visits<b>Erebos_</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 3:51am<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:25am<b>Sharkthedark</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:50pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:15pm<b>gradius1002</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:03pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:35pm<b>3molliver3</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:44am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:02am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:15pm<b>akemi</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:20pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:01pm<b>oodnanref</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Codyallen1993</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 8:16pm<b>No_tag</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 9:13pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 9:57am<b>Allornone</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 10:31pm

Fucked!<b>Erebos_</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:51am

Humanspider's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Humanspider's badges

Humanspider's favorite FMLs

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

by helpfulmom / 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

by PTKFML / 07/26/2009 at 12:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy