Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Humanspider

Search for a member

Humanspider

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Humanspider : A Charming Bastard who is honest but lacks tact

Humanspider's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:35pm<b>3molliver3</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:44am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:02am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:15pm<b>akemi</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:20pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:01pm<b>oodnanref</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Codyallen1993</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 8:16pm<b>No_tag</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 9:13pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 9:57am<b>Allornone</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 10:31pm<b>PIEMAN2014</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 6:26pm<b>NewMetalGirl</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 10:48pm<b>Willski</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 12:23am<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 4:44pm<b>Migole</b> - the 07/13/2012 at 4:10pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/23/2012 at 10:14pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 6:53pm

Humanspider's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Humanspider's badges

Humanspider's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

#18315280
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28484) - you deserved it (5213)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34210) - you deserved it (11470)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (5024)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15977) - you deserved it (41374)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

#18253650
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (6897)

On 11/15/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (9143)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41426) - you deserved it (19123)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49508) - you deserved it (3865)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51065) - you deserved it (8043)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38251) - you deserved it (4593)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (5958)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (24166)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9985) - you deserved it (71361)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

#16354230
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37647) - you deserved it (21811)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40086) - you deserved it (26547) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: