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Humanspider

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Humanspider
  • Town/Country : Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1061
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Humanspider : A Charming Bastard who is honest but lacks tact

Humanspider's last visitors

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Humanspider's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Humanspider's badges

Humanspider's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (7793)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36052) - you deserved it (9016)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML

#18362430
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (5079)

On 11/27/2011 at 1:02am - work - by Clumsy & Forgetful - Canada

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (9285)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML

#18357588
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (6567)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:50pm - love - by Rich (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (14181)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (8082)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10933) - you deserved it (54098)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (5317)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43447) - you deserved it (6837)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43447) - you deserved it (6837)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37627) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

#18322997
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (4135)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)



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