About Humanspider : A Charming Bastard who is honest but lacks tact
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Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (1706)
On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (3342)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (1751)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States
I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (2086)
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (1762)
On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (5584)
On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10280) - you deserved it (22457)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40967) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend forced me to climb out through his window, because he was too embarrassed at the thought of his room-mate finding out I'd spent the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (3541)
On 12/10/2011 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by FML - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25041) - you deserved it (6018)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18586) - you deserved it (25091)
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (3905)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by brando2k5 - United States (Texas)
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34080) - you deserved it (11973)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (3493)
On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (4028)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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