Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Honestly_Lainey

Search for a member

Honestly_Lainey
  • Town/Country : wardrobe, spare oom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1583
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 56 posted

About Honestly_Lainey : Hi. I call myself "me" sometimes. I like this and that. I'm awkward. I go from sensitive to judgmental in 3.5 seconds. I'm working on it, but hey, I'm human and this is the Internet, so it's allowed. I think sour candy is uh-may-za-zing. Aaaand that pretty much covers everything...
If you took the time to read my little "about me" you should message me.. Because... Really, I have no reason for this... Just do it? Or not, whatever.
Aaaaand that's all... I think. Have a g'day :)

Honestly_Lainey's last visitors

sharod101why_teh_hellKyngJulianslimkelseyZealIFeelwilliamcarter93Nakoma

Honestly_Lainey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Honestly_Lainey's badges

Honestly_Lainey's favorite FMLs

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (2424)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

#18844596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (3987)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (6100)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

#18710808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (7699)

On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

#18692493
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by cheese123 (woman) - United States

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (12256)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

#18588248
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27226) - you deserved it (3180)

On 12/23/2011 at 11:38am - love - by LukeSkywalker (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (2662)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25101) - you deserved it (2030)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML

#18508459
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (20882)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:18am - work - by Shelly - United States (California)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (67993)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, it's my soon to be 12 year old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML

#18394511
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (4339)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: