Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Honestly_Lainey

Search for a member

Honestly_Lainey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2319
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 56 posted

About Honestly_Lainey : Hi. I call myself "me" sometimes. I like this and that. I'm awkward. I go from sensitive to judgmental in 3.5 seconds. I'm working on it, but hey, I'm human and this is the Internet, so it's allowed. I think sour candy is uh-may-za-zing. Aaaand that pretty much covers everything...
If you took the time to read my little "about me" you should message me.. Because... Really, I have no reason for this... Just do it? Or not, whatever.
Aaaaand that's all... I think. Have a g'day :)

Honestly_Lainey's page activity

Visits<b>hereicomment</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Ivis09</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:48pm<b>sharod101</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:12pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:46pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:18am<b>ThatSmartAlek</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:22am<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 9:59pm<b>AEAGORN</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:04am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:22am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:03am<b>ZealIFeel</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 1:58am<b>hhc</b> - the 06/24/2012 at 3:10am<b>williamcarter93</b> - the 05/16/2012 at 10:36pm<b>Nakoma</b> - the 05/02/2012 at 7:17pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/14/2012 at 4:44pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 03/09/2012 at 2:18pm<b>Argenisjose</b> - the 02/25/2012 at 11:12pm

Honestly_Lainey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Honestly_Lainey's badges

Honestly_Lainey's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28680) - you deserved it (2144)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

#19164325
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10395) - you deserved it (24602)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (5112)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (1987)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33441) - you deserved it (2054)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML

#19160986
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm - kids - by jj159 (woman) - United States

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9412) - you deserved it (31707)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (27245)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

#19152626
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (2969)

On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

#19149588
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (2089)

On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

#19149317
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (37250)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by thisguy - Canada

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

#19148327
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21590) - you deserved it (4069)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13820) - you deserved it (32429)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (5841)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: