Honestly_Lainey

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Honestly_Lainey

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4490
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 56 posted

About Honestly_Lainey : Hi. I call myself "me" sometimes. I like this and that. I'm awkward. I go from sensitive to judgmental in 3.5 seconds. I'm working on it, but hey, I'm human and this is the Internet, so it's allowed. I think sour candy is uh-may-za-zing. Aaaand that pretty much covers everything...
If you took the time to read my little "about me" you should message me.. Because... Really, I have no reason for this... Just do it? Or not, whatever.
Aaaaand that's all... I think. Have a g'day :)

Honestly_Lainey's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:38am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:41pm<b>jacob35</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>sorariku124</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:45am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:37pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 4:46am<b>hereicomment</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Ivis09</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:48pm<b>sharod101</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:12pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:46pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:18am<b>ThatSmartAlek</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:22am<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 9:59pm<b>AEAGORN</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:04am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:22am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:03am<b>ZealIFeel</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 1:58am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 6:37am

Honestly_Lainey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Honestly_Lainey's badges

Honestly_Lainey's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2012 at 8:42am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 10:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

by whinywiper / 05/25/2012 at 11:10am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

by waste of effort / 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

by rhya4n / 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm / United States / Health

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

by beleria / 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

by bibou2324 / 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm / Work

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health