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Honestly_Lainey

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Honestly_Lainey
  • Town/Country : wardrobe, spare oom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1603
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 56 posted

About Honestly_Lainey : Hi. I call myself "me" sometimes. I like this and that. I'm awkward. I go from sensitive to judgmental in 3.5 seconds. I'm working on it, but hey, I'm human and this is the Internet, so it's allowed. I think sour candy is uh-may-za-zing. Aaaand that pretty much covers everything...
If you took the time to read my little "about me" you should message me.. Because... Really, I have no reason for this... Just do it? Or not, whatever.
Aaaaand that's all... I think. Have a g'day :)

Honestly_Lainey's last visitors

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Honestly_Lainey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Honestly_Lainey's badges

Honestly_Lainey's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (4450)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (4450)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7488) - you deserved it (38294)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (5624)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10077) - you deserved it (29455)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

#19678004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17085) - you deserved it (3126)

On 05/25/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by whinywiper - Canada

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

#19628029
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24250) - you deserved it (3016)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (2405)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11267) - you deserved it (38079) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (4057)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (2280)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (3325)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (4658) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27272) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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