Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Honestly_Lainey

Search for a member

Honestly_Lainey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2339
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 56 posted

About Honestly_Lainey : Hi. I call myself "me" sometimes. I like this and that. I'm awkward. I go from sensitive to judgmental in 3.5 seconds. I'm working on it, but hey, I'm human and this is the Internet, so it's allowed. I think sour candy is uh-may-za-zing. Aaaand that pretty much covers everything...
If you took the time to read my little "about me" you should message me.. Because... Really, I have no reason for this... Just do it? Or not, whatever.
Aaaaand that's all... I think. Have a g'day :)

Honestly_Lainey's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - 23 hours ago<b>hereicomment</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Ivis09</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:48pm<b>sharod101</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:12pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:46pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:18am<b>ThatSmartAlek</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:22am<b>slimkelsey</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 9:59pm<b>AEAGORN</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:04am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:22am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:03am<b>ZealIFeel</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 1:58am<b>hhc</b> - the 06/24/2012 at 3:10am<b>williamcarter93</b> - the 05/16/2012 at 10:36pm<b>Nakoma</b> - the 05/02/2012 at 7:17pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/14/2012 at 4:44pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 03/09/2012 at 2:18pm<b>Argenisjose</b> - the 02/25/2012 at 11:12pm

Honestly_Lainey's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Honestly_Lainey's badges

Honestly_Lainey's favorite FMLs

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (3014)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36180) - you deserved it (6147)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (3400)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (2220)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (4293)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (1562)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (12253)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (9029)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (15156)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

#19787212
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (25156)

On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (5476)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: