HitchHiker42

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Offline (the 04/21/2014 at 4:24am)

HitchHiker42

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1867
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About HitchHiker42 : I'm a relentlessly optimistic high school sophomore that loves to laugh at the misfortune of not only others, but myself as well. Singing, running, and socializing are fun.

HitchHiker42's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 11:38am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:51pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:42pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:34am<b>TheJap</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:07pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>sugarbooboo63</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:56pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:09pm<b>Cescaoy</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 8:21am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:31pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 7:44pm<b>jujuroxursox</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 12:27am<b>IowaCowgirl</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 11:11pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 5:56pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 3:46pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 10:53pm

Fucked!<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:39pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 1:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:51pm

HitchHiker42's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of HitchHiker42's badges

HitchHiker42's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

by EastOneTen / 10/06/2012 at 3:28am / United States / Health

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

by msassy / 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

by ohgod... / 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

by wobble... / 02/23/2012 at 6:29am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

by bellerz14 / 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous