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HitchHiker42

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HitchHiker42
  • Town/Country : Pitman, NJ, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 230
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About HitchHiker42 : I'm a relentlessly optimistic high school sophomore that loves to laugh at the misfortune of not only others, but myself as well. Singing, running, and socializing are fun.

HitchHiker42's last visitors

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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HitchHiker42's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25756) - you deserved it (5306)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15790) - you deserved it (886)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (4581)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (2064)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am beyond terrified. FML

#20094121
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16788) - you deserved it (1175)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (1527)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (27837)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (5231)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7408) - you deserved it (11265)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (2412)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (1935)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15645) - you deserved it (5021)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7477) - you deserved it (24265)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9839) - you deserved it (48741)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15917) - you deserved it (2560)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States



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