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His_Holiness

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His_Holiness

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1582
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About His_Holiness : All hail my holy balls

Give me your sons as payment for me being the voice of God

His_Holiness's page activity

Visits<b>Jessj958</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:38pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 4:25pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 4:16pm<b>pandas91210</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Candycake</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:23pm<b>842wolves</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 9:33pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:11am<b>zackerytb</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 6:21am<b>LaurenJadeK</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 12:24am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:21am<b>Adiedee</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 1:54pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:18pm<b>kingcheese</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 11:57pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 9:50am<b>jtthegr8</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 3:18am<b>expixel</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:24am

His_Holiness's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of His_Holiness's badges

His_Holiness's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

#17215427
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (9557)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (88393)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

#16980115
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31679) - you deserved it (7565)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17796) - you deserved it (38950)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49849) - you deserved it (5268)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44031) - you deserved it (3120)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (20215)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42334) - you deserved it (8251)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (4990)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

#14945548
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (15997)

On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17398) - you deserved it (30726)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33251) - you deserved it (3392)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

#14397838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (5142)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17940) - you deserved it (2438)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

#14294179
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18255) - you deserved it (5815)

On 12/22/2010 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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