His_Holiness

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His_Holiness

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4358
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About His_Holiness : All hail my holy balls

Give me your sons as payment for me being the voice of God

His_Holiness's page activity

Visits<b>drayyy</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:43am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:55pm<b>perfect_insanity</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:41am<b>Jessj958</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:38pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 4:25pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 4:16pm<b>pandas91210</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Candycake</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:23pm<b>842wolves</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 9:33pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:11am<b>zackerytb</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 6:21am<b>LaurenJadeK</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 12:24am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:21am<b>Adiedee</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 1:54pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:18pm

Fucked!<b>drayyy</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:59pm

His_Holiness's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of His_Holiness's badges

His_Holiness's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

by inlovewithstupid / 09/04/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

by wags34 / 08/22/2011 at 10:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

by Username / 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm / United States / Health

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous