Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HarveeBirdMan

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

HarveeBirdMan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 411
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

HarveeBirdMan's page activity

Visits<b>muzy</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:28pm<b>hedgehog_in_fog</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:35am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 3:44pm

HarveeBirdMan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of HarveeBirdMan's badges

HarveeBirdMan's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (5321)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54963) - you deserved it (27618)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (66548)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (66098)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

#20537238
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35878) - you deserved it (8651)

On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (59932)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (3074)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20042) - you deserved it (12384)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12355) - you deserved it (35812)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10473) - you deserved it (30170)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (40815)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

#19725175
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (4323)

On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26559) - you deserved it (11001)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (1782)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: