About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
by hopeless / 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada / Work
Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by 1039583 / 10/03/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Utah) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 8:06am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by onlywantuanyway / 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm / Intimacy
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML
by sam_666777 / 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Work
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
- Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart… Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma… Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the…