Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Harpy20

Offline (yesterday at 9:51am) | Search for a member

Harpy20

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22468
  • Number of comments : 608
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.

For the Horde!

Harpy20's page activity

Visits<b>aayukat</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:54am<b>Donnellando</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:29am<b>nataliewby</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:50am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:11pm<b>brwolfie</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:16pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:21pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:27pm<b>mrhammer101</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:42pm<b>jncldprs</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raxal</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:11am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:08pm<b>palosqueak</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:30am<b>g9m9brown</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:44pm<b>Fancyman123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:00pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:15pm<b>itsrainingcake</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:21pm<b>ElHephay</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:00pm<b>THELEGENDMRT</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:44am

Harpy20's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Harpy20's badges

Harpy20's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59806) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46024) - you deserved it (8301)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39740) - you deserved it (4086)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45361) - you deserved it (5097)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42468) - you deserved it (4702)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36375) - you deserved it (24710)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (22180)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (5274)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40239) - you deserved it (3454)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49265) - you deserved it (5486)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42144) - you deserved it (5613)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44597) - you deserved it (6534)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (4759)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

#21182292
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (5181)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52339) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: