About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
For the Horde!
About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
Harpy20's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML
by brokeandhungry / 07/04/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids
by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML
by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love
by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by Dingbat / 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
by :) / 05/29/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Miscellaneous
by DrewK / 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…