Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 9:53am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 47321
  • Number of comments : 611
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.

For the Horde!

Harpy20's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:03am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 8:58am<b>combatsurf</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:31pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ken29</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 8:04pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:28am<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 12:36am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:38am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:41pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:40am<b>Venister</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:45am<b>smeegle</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:57pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 7:07pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:25am<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:13pm<b>roydashious</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:55pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:18pm<b>bballstar1011</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:44am

Fucked!<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:13am<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:03am<b>r_u_siri</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 4:45pm<b>monkey8970920</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:54am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Snake1105</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 5:42pm<b>LaughyTaffee</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:41am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:01am<b>pineapples8</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:03pm<b>differentadi</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:09am

Harpy20's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Harpy20's badges

Harpy20's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58176) - you deserved it (12679)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50899) - you deserved it (7997)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41449) - you deserved it (3066)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40777) - you deserved it (3692)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40382) - you deserved it (20427)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I taught a college course with a group of 30 adults. I was educating them on leadership and gave a 25 minute lecture, with examples like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and how they changed the world. Then I opened the forum to see who inspired them. The response? Donald Trump. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (4451)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Disappointed Teacher (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54710) - you deserved it (10529)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49532) - you deserved it (7638)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML


I agree, your life sucks (72322) - you deserved it (6104)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37670) - you deserved it (2894)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:51am - work - by Not impressed. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML


I agree, your life sucks (53199) - you deserved it (4711)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: