About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
by taman / 09/12/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML
by sucksforme / 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML
by Somessedup / 09/09/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays
Today, my Grandmother was sent to the ER. My family blamed it on her being allergic to my cats, making me feel guilty. She just called me to tell me the test results informed her that she is actually allergic to the carrot cake they got her. I gave my cats away 15 minutes ago to a little girl. FML
by hwood / 09/09/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
by GoodDog / 09/09/2009 at 9:21am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
by Victor / 09/09/2009 at 8:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML
by clingmaster / 09/09/2009 at 4:57am / United States (Florida) / Love
by theboywithlonghair / 09/09/2009 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States / Kids
Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML
by comet5002 / 09/09/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML
by easrc / 09/08/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by nitwit / 09/08/2009 at 8:29am / Greece (Attiki) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I finished my final art project for school. Worked on it from 6pm until 2am every night for… Today, I was craving a bean & cheese burrito. After trying to forget about burritos for half of the… Today, I was mugged by a homeless lady who was eating a pudding cup with a spoon. At one point she…