About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
For the Horde!
About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
by Sigh / 09/13/2009 at 8:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 4:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
by broken / 09/13/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by blind_date / 09/13/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
by Lukev7 / 09/12/2009 at 9:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother thought he would take my key and steal my shoes from my football locker while I was at practice. What he didn't think about was him leaving my locker unlocked for the 3 hours of practice. Someone stole my iPod, my cell phone, my wallet, and all of my clothes. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 2:58am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by badjob / 09/12/2009 at 2:32am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
by taman / 09/12/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML
by sucksforme / 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML
by Somessedup / 09/09/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…