About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
For the Horde!
About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
Harpy20's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, I am on vacation in Dubai with my dad and a few of his friends. I thought we were going to travel and see some amazing things, but I'm confined to my hotel room while everyone drinks and watches Family Guy. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 4:05pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Holidays
by Sniffles / 04/26/2014 at 8:28am / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
by notmine / 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm / India (Delhi) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML
by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
by =( / 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids
by Violet / 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
by that kind of girl / 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm / Japan (Hyogo) / Kids
Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 12:43am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or…