About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML
by Quirk / 10/29/2009 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Animals
by GlassJAwkidE / 10/29/2009 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by clueless / 10/29/2009 at 12:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by mintyfresh / 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
by R / 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by Slayeddd / 10/28/2009 at 9:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML
by bubblensuds1 / 10/28/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML
by Kailey / 10/27/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by dumped / 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. There's a car wash that they conveniently built right outside of this Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of this car wash, not even thinking about the $200 worth of groceries I had just purchased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML
by dave / 10/27/2009 at 11:36am / United States / Transportation