About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML
by JZ / 10/30/2009 at 9:34am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Coach / 10/30/2009 at 9:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
Today, my bank overdrafted my account to pay a bill that isn't due until next month. When I called them, they said they would fix the mistake, but I have to restore the account to zero before they'll give me my money back. So, I have to pay for my own money with the money they won't give me. FML
by WTF / 10/30/2009 at 6:11am / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
by legotron / 10/30/2009 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Transportation
by anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love
by skyhawk13 / 10/30/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by seriousdubsteplover / 10/30/2009 at 1:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML
by Allie / 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML
by girlthatstoofat / 10/29/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
by TrueScotsman / 10/29/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, after feeling fat and ugly and a bit depressed, I logged on to Facebook to see my boyfriend had posted "I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world!" I 'liked' it and commented "Aww thank you baby!" I logged in later to see that he commented back saying "I didn't mean you." FML
by deserved / 10/29/2009 at 10:27am / United States (California) / Love
by chipmunk / 10/29/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend… Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something… Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other.…