Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Harpy20

Search for a member

Harpy20
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15135
  • Number of comments : 585
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.

For the Horde!

Harpy20's last visitors

kpetrovskiThunderTheRadVoltzeAshamed_SisterBoltTheSuperdogjulako

Harpy20's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Harpy20's badges

Harpy20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18946) - you deserved it (5421)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (3445)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (4749)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

#19369431
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17913) - you deserved it (1592)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (10454)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML

#18818904
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7155) - you deserved it (34519)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by CA19oo - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (2845)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9927) - you deserved it (37088)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (6137)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (5826)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

#17707325
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30089) - you deserved it (3203)

On 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (27799)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33609) - you deserved it (2402)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (36460)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

#17444027
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34219) - you deserved it (2027)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm - love - by Matt - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: