Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Harpy20

Offline (the 10/12/2014 at 10:05am) | Search for a member

Harpy20

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24768
  • Number of comments : 608
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.

For the Horde!

Harpy20's page activity

Visits<b>differentadi</b> - 5 hours ago<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:03am<b>teentee401</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 6:22am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:56pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:39am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:58pm<b>KittehFreak</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:48pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>aayukat</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:54am<b>Donnellando</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:29am<b>nataliewby</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:50am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:11pm<b>brwolfie</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:16pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:21pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:27pm<b>mrhammer101</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:42pm<b>jncldprs</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:02pm

Liked!<b>differentadi</b> - just now

Harpy20's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Harpy20's badges

Harpy20's favorite FMLs

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34410) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (5062)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39655) - you deserved it (8422)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (6307)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (2456)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (2426)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (3618)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (4003)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (541) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44086) - you deserved it (6254)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: