About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
For the Horde!
About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Harpy20's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML
by Che_likes_you / 12/12/2014 at 10:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML
by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
by unlovedandunfucked / 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by fucking moron / 12/09/2014 at 4:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by mn167109 / 12/09/2014 at 12:45am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML
by #goodbyelife / 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lovethateuropeanblood / 12/08/2014 at 9:12am / Japan (Osaka) / Love
Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML
by pubemilkshake / 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
by fuckered519 / 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 1:23pm / United States / Work
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
by newly passed, newly grassed / 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML
by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work