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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Harpy20

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Harpy20
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2978
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Harpy20's favorite FMLs

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

#17707325 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (1005)

On 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (24465)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (1693)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (6218)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

#15895508 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (32556) - you deserved it (5656)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26am - kids - by kindgartin (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

#15894245 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (1887)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:12am - health - by rhartnett11 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

#15793085 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (48653) - you deserved it (3082)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:38am - love - by ZaraAce (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML

#15784474 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (1434)

On 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm - love - by Pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672 (436)

I agree, your life sucks (43030) - you deserved it (9642)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213 (864)

I agree, your life sucks (54659) - you deserved it (9534)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (8201)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (48169) - you deserved it (4260)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

#15600756 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (11513) - you deserved it (3403)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:35am - kids - by Viciousvixen_21 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (32809)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696 (274)

I agree, your life sucks (38022) - you deserved it (5612)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)