Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Harpy20

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

Harpy20

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21652
  • Number of comments : 605
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Harpy20 : Sith FTW.

For the Horde!

Harpy20's page activity

Visits<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:21pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:27pm<b>mrhammer101</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:42pm<b>jncldprs</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raxal</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:11am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:08pm<b>palosqueak</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:30am<b>g9m9brown</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:44pm<b>Fancyman123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:00pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:23pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:15pm<b>itsrainingcake</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:21pm<b>ElHephay</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:00pm<b>THELEGENDMRT</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:44am<b>emmachristine</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:06am<b>CaiDog</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:22am<b>Mauled</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:19am<b>avengersbabe99</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:36pm

Harpy20's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Harpy20's badges

Harpy20's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (10141)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27511) - you deserved it (4331)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (4145)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35520) - you deserved it (10891)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35273) - you deserved it (21327)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (42815)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML

#21234823
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (3956)

On 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

#21234023
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43534) - you deserved it (2627)

On 08/10/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (3079)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (35181)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45368) - you deserved it (2825)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

#21232320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (11074)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:40am - love - by alisaav (woman) - Thailand

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (3814)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: