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HarpoKeane

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HarpoKeane
  • Town/Country : Dublin, Ireland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HarpoKeane : Having a good time retired from the Defence Forces. Woo hoo. Don't bother mailing as I'm passed out in the gutter outside your mothers house ;)

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HarpoKeane's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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HarpoKeane's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12285) - you deserved it (46545)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (22606)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (2895)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2809)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (12192)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18555) - you deserved it (5875)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35656) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12078) - you deserved it (32223)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15746) - you deserved it (8739)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (4958)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57158) - you deserved it (6893)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

#2992603
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84552) - you deserved it (4472)

On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9006) - you deserved it (67167)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version



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