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HarpoKeane

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HarpoKeane

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 952
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HarpoKeane : Having a good time retired from the Defence Forces. Woo hoo. Don't bother mailing as I'm passed out in the gutter outside your mothers house ;)

HarpoKeane's page activity

Visits<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:35am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:19pm<b>ajh1800</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:04pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:38am<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:52pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 3:30pm<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:15am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:00am<b>Joshsteck</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:13am

HarpoKeane's FML badges

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You've liked someone. How cute!

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HarpoKeane's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51320) - you deserved it (15061)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (3064)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (50255)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (19455)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14842) - you deserved it (53389)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (4410)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39417) - you deserved it (24348)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (3236)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51288) - you deserved it (17839)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (14802)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (6346)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41478) - you deserved it (4406)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (37356)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (11998)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (5570)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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