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HarpoKeane

Offline (the 07/24/2015 at 12:28am) | Search for a member

HarpoKeane

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 921
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HarpoKeane : Having a good time retired from the Defence Forces. Woo hoo. Don't bother mailing as I'm passed out in the gutter outside your mothers house ;)

HarpoKeane's page activity

Visits<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:35am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:19pm<b>ajh1800</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:04pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:38am<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:52pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 3:30pm<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:15am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:00am<b>Joshsteck</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:13am

HarpoKeane's FML badges

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You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of HarpoKeane's badges

HarpoKeane's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18476) - you deserved it (47708)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (19207)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14565) - you deserved it (52642)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33279) - you deserved it (4373)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (24340)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (3039)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51247) - you deserved it (17836)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (14791)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (6345)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (4404)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15559) - you deserved it (37330)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (11949)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46401) - you deserved it (5569)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63048) - you deserved it (7485)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71575) - you deserved it (18507)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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