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HarpoKeane

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HarpoKeane

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 913
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HarpoKeane : Having a good time retired from the Defence Forces. Woo hoo. Don't bother mailing as I'm passed out in the gutter outside your mothers house ;)

HarpoKeane's page activity

Visits<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:35am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:19pm<b>ajh1800</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:04pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:38am<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 6:52pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 3:30pm<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:15am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:00am<b>Joshsteck</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:13am

HarpoKeane's FML badges

Inception

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of HarpoKeane's badges

HarpoKeane's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18456) - you deserved it (47694)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31385) - you deserved it (19203)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14558) - you deserved it (52608)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33259) - you deserved it (4372)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (24323)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51231) - you deserved it (17833)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (14783)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (6345)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (4401)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15370) - you deserved it (37078)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (11885)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46375) - you deserved it (5566)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63022) - you deserved it (7484)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71542) - you deserved it (18498)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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