Hamo

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Hamo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6858
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Hamo : Hiiiiiii

If you're reading this then you probably have died have cuteness from my pic or I posted a comment people care about.

I'm Hammad and the girl in the pic is one of my nieces. I love sports and follow everything from the NFL to Golf. Jane is my girlfriend and we've been dating for more than six months. She deals with my eccentric behaviors.

I'm just gonna comment on fmls and see where that gets me

Hamo's page activity

Visits<b>cindyylol</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:35pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 5:55pm<b>Marine6297</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:28pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:16pm<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:46pm<b>TehhMatriix</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:49pm<b>itssosparkly</b> - the 05/26/2012 at 10:39am<b>psyanide</b> - the 05/13/2012 at 5:01pm

Hamo's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Hamo's badges

Hamo's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:39am / Australia (Tasmania) / Love

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

by habsgurl0622 / 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

by jack / 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

by bucollegegirl / 10/08/2012 at 10:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

by RIP / 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids