About Guyana00 : I neve know what to put for this kind of question. Who does, ask me what you want.
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Guyana00's favorite FMLs
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
by charliesangel123 / 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
by kit_kat14 / 02/19/2010 at 9:27am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by ryan / 02/10/2010 at 10:08am / United States / Intimacy
by kingmetal42 / 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Transportation
by stoopidpoop / 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
by Alicia / 01/21/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 1:56am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy
Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML
by gtrs750 / 08/09/2009 at 9:48am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
by hannaholic / 07/03/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by kewlio45 / 07/01/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
by sluttydancer / 06/10/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML
by bezoar10 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,…
- Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…