Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Googolman

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

Googolman

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8702
  • Number of comments : 323
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Googolman's page activity

Visits<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:08pm<b>TheJords_</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:09am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:44am<b>Mafioso97</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:58am<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:20am<b>dont_doubt_me</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:55am<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:17pm<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:24am<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:38pm<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:31pm<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:27pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:20am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:36am<b>Stardew</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 3:15am<b>brishtilovescats</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:37pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:46pm

Liked!<b>Thatepicperson</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:17am<b>princessbloky</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:06am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:58pm

Googolman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Googolman's badges

Googolman's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58867) - you deserved it (14697)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54214) - you deserved it (18209)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML

#20820283
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42192) - you deserved it (8124)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by no, don't save me or nothing (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

#20815101
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46705) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/01/2013 at 11:18am - work - by are these people even HUMAN? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59110) - you deserved it (10588)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55183) - you deserved it (4255)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56324) - you deserved it (9333)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46693) - you deserved it (3809)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52584) - you deserved it (6647)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43556) - you deserved it (14373)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53266) - you deserved it (7827)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52331) - you deserved it (21153)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53065) - you deserved it (9159)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65846) - you deserved it (21411)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: