Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Googolman

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

Googolman

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10218
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Googolman's page activity

Visits<b>1DisGR8</b> - 2 hours ago<b>csi</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:13am<b>Klivefrog</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:23pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:03am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:25am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Ultratough</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:54pm<b>constipation</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:08pm<b>kingcam19</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:11am<b>I_Bite</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:11pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:54pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:10am<b>princessbloky</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:12am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:15pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:39pm<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:35pm

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Thatepicperson</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:17am<b>princessbloky</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:06am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:58pm

Googolman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Googolman's badges

Googolman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44150) - you deserved it (3448)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55403) - you deserved it (5044)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
114 comments

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42253) - you deserved it (4902)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45620) - you deserved it (3630)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57828) - you deserved it (4400)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59833) - you deserved it (14904)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54254) - you deserved it (18230)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML

#20820283
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42233) - you deserved it (8134)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by no, don't save me or nothing (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

#20815101
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48478) - you deserved it (3523)

On 08/01/2013 at 11:18am - work - by are these people even HUMAN? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59176) - you deserved it (10599)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55240) - you deserved it (4259)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56379) - you deserved it (9345)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46743) - you deserved it (3810)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: