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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (1347)
On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (5080)
On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13280) - you deserved it (21456)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (1897)
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (2292)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28888) - you deserved it (2346)
On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (2318)
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7986) - you deserved it (37204)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:47am - work - by f_ck_U (man) - China (Zhejiang)
Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (2012)
On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (4498)
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16936) - you deserved it (1978)
On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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