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Googolman's favorite FMLs
by punkchicka4 / 03/02/2015 at 6:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 2:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by OnlyAvailableID / 02/08/2015 at 3:35am / Australia / Animals
by 11Karma11 / 02/04/2015 at 6:35pm / United Kingdom / Work
by Sprinkles / 02/04/2015 at 2:44am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by bruhandbutercup / 02/02/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Work
Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML
by xoragebaby / 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture…