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Googolman's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML
by Great / 05/29/2015 at 8:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
by oops / 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML
by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML
by guitarki / 04/26/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML
by ip7 / 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML
by Mr. Sniffles / 03/23/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 12:23am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…