Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Googolman

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Googolman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4300
  • Number of comments : 263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Googolman's page activity

Visits<b>MzZombicidal</b> - yesterday at 10:41pm<b>dhpk</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Phoenix659x</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:12pm<b>turtlewrangler01</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:03pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:40pm<b>magaja</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:16pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:46am<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:51am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:40am<b>Davids9199</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Danniepop</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:29am<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:27am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:45pm<b>KMoBear</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:11am<b>Stephers_</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:18am<b>kellyb1094</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 6:18pm<b>andfyourstoo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:25pm

Googolman's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Googolman's badges

Googolman's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57111) - you deserved it (3377)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (3936)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (39147)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47458) - you deserved it (4072)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44066) - you deserved it (3423)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (10342)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (36589)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (4593)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (90317)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48164) - you deserved it (4827)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

#20853995
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44364) - you deserved it (4756)

On 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm - work - by jeed(1) (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47694) - you deserved it (4144)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34953) - you deserved it (2466)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38695) - you deserved it (2626)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: