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Googolman's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML
by ip7 / 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML
by Mr. Sniffles / 03/23/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 12:23am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by punkchicka4 / 03/02/2015 at 6:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 2:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by OnlyAvailableID / 02/08/2015 at 3:35am / Australia / Animals
- Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly… Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I… Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm…
- Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant… Today, after tossing and turning for hours trying to sleep, I finally doze off. I am then awoken by… Today, I woke up from a nap because I heard my mother and her fiancée having rough sex while I and…