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Googolman

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Googolman
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1404
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Googolman's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (2352)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (72237)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26198) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (5828)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (11362)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (4424)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

#17500092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (3207)

On 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by santasadiekins - United States (Washington)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

#17471186
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (12508)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United States (Arizona)



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