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Googolman's FML badges
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Googolman's favorite FMLs
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
by brandogg / 04/29/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML
by shit / 04/28/2016 at 7:05am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by brandogg / 04/27/2016 at 5:33am / United States (New Mexico) / Health
Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
by 12MONTHLEASE / 04/21/2016 at 8:30pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 3:16am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 2:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays
by ANON / 03/18/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, at a family dinner, I found the courage to tell my husband's parents about my schizophrenia. They exchanged weird looks and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Then my father-in-law finally says, "Christ. The grandkids won't come out all nutty, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Cumbria) / Health
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2016 at 1:58am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love
by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous