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Googolman

Offline (the 07/22/2014 at 4:49am) | Search for a member

Googolman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2530
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Googolman's page activity

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Googolman's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (6164)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (6899)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64904) - you deserved it (32500)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40792) - you deserved it (7279)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (3925)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31690) - you deserved it (39290)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48499) - you deserved it (6426)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (4771)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38954) - you deserved it (4379)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44046) - you deserved it (4711)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66211) - you deserved it (3587)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38609) - you deserved it (21443)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36829) - you deserved it (2733)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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