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GlobalElephant

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GlobalElephant

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4701
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas

GlobalElephant's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:12am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:51pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:15pm<b>iarefatal</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:01pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:31pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 9:48pm<b>jxcala</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Rhythmiz</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:57pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Feelsgood</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Sandra_W</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 4:41pm<b>SirEskimo</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 12:26pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:56pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:54am

GlobalElephant's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of GlobalElephant's badges

GlobalElephant's favorite FMLs

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33945) - you deserved it (2614)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46620) - you deserved it (3106)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36318) - you deserved it (3629)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (11621)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45678) - you deserved it (5927)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (16409)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (11534)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (23345)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (9737)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (3056)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (5737)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48251) - you deserved it (14394)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42781) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States



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