About GlobalElephant : I really like bananas
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (4371)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (3950)
On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (1236)
On 04/04/2013 at 3:12am - misc - by Claustrophobic - United States
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36765) - you deserved it (3490)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my coworker learned that I'm an Israeli Jew. He told me, in the same sentence, that Jews should "get the fuck out of Israel" and also "get out of Australia and back to your own country." Um, what? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (5295)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:53am - work - by JewSoSilly (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (2487)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29785) - you deserved it (2068)
On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (2713)
On 04/02/2013 at 2:42pm - misc - by MilleeMacabre - United States
Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (7748)
On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (1780)
On 04/02/2013 at 11:34am - love - by ItsAnanya (woman) - India (Delhi)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29736) - you deserved it (5480)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28098) - you deserved it (4377)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you deserved it (3730)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (45924)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29618) - you deserved it (2038)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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